Happy Bunz!

Now that I've moved back to Portland and have an hour of commute time every day, I've been on the hunt for the perfect knicker.  I tried riding in regular pants, but by the time I get home, I'm in chafey, bruisy misery.  I need something that sheds rain, doesn't feel like a diaper, and doesn't make me look like a boy.

One of my teammates has a pair of Harlot knickers that she loves (I think she might actually sleep in them) so I picked up a pair.  They are awesome!!!  I never knew I could feel this way about a pair of pants.  They're cute, they make me look skinny, and my chatch feels spectacular - no bunching, no clammy chamois - I could not ask for more.  Now that it's getting chilly out, I'm going to try them on a longer training ride.  I just got a second pair and I can't wait to try out some of their other stuff.  

 Best of all, after reading the website, I fully stoked about the company.  Not only do they call their chamois the "beaver comfort zone", they also have an great read about how they came up with the company name, plus they sponsor a bunch of badass chicks.    

Jennifer Steketee, Harlot President, I have a big, fat girl-crush on you!  You have made my nether regions happy in a way no-one else ever has.

Sweet Lord Baby Jesus

What a weekend!  We headed out to Astoria for the world famous Halloween Cross race.  It was a kick in the pants!  Two days of racing, perect weather, great friends, even better beer, plus I had the honor and privilege of meeting the man himself: Graeahemee Street.  Graeme came out to the great northwest to visit my good friend Josh, and we made sure he got a true Oregon experience: Cross and Beer.  He turns out to be a pretty rad dude, even if he is from Connecticut.  

So, Saturday was race day, and Sunday was race drunkenly in your costume day.  Not surprisingly, I did much better on Sunday.  The line-up-raffle on sunday found me at the very ass-end of the staging.  This turned out to be a good thing because I actually got to pass a couple people for a change.  I remembered to do some of my new breathing techniques at the start (since it takes so long to do call-ups and staging, warmups are kind of pointless) and I think it really helped.  I rarely warm up and I always spend the first lap or two with leaden legs and a mouthful of barf, but I've done the warm-up breathing at the last couple of races and it rocks!  Maybe not quite as good as if I actually warmed up but hey, we all know that's not happening.  

About half-way through the race, I experienced my first real cyclocross wreck.  Even though I've had a cross bike for a year and a half now, I race like a complete pantywaist so I never really wreck.  Not today.  At the bottom of the hill were two smooth, perfect lines going around the corner, but I managed to hit the gigantic hole right between them.  I flew ass-over-teakettle, landed on my head, rolled, was allegedly it by another rider (though I have no recollection of this), saw stars, managed to get off the course, decided that if my helmet wasn't broken - I wasn't broken, straightened my left shifter, and got back to it.  Despite the couple of minutes I spent laying next to the course, trying to decide that I was hurt enough to quit, I managed a mid-pack finish.  w00t!

This morning, the ladies of the team donned long robes, crowns of thorns, and excessive quantities of fake blood in our own portrayal of "The Passion of the CROSS".  Tasteful? No.  PC? No.  Hilarious? Yes!  Offensive? Yes!  Memorable? I think it just might be.  

Sunshine, hearts, and kitten farts!

I LOVE my team. Seriously. I don't know what I would do without you guys. You have become my family; my drunken, dysfunctional, amazing family. You may not be the hippest, or the fastest - you certainly aren't the best looking - but in a dark alleyway on the wrong side of town, there's no one I'd rather get my ass kicked for.

Sunday may be the lord's day, but Saturday belongs to PAIN!

Holey Moley! Yesterday morning (and afternoon, and twilight), Josh and I did an awesome ride to Multnomah falls and back. The first 40 or so miles were perfect! I think Josh was pretty much in awe of how gorgeous Oregon an be - especially by bike! The weather was sunny but cool, there wasn't too much traffic, it was amazing!

Unfortunately, at about mile 42, I noticed some trouble unclipping. Thinking my cleat might be coming loose, I bent down to check it out. It was at this point that I realized no, the entire crank arm was fixing to fall off. Luckily we were only a short distance from the lodge, so I did a one legged interval the rest of the way there.

Now, this is probably the first training ride I've been on where I actually brought all of my emergency supplies: tubes, levers, CO2, epipen, multi-tool, etc. Sadly, the allen wrench needed to fix this thing is approximately the same size as the 'SFT' used to change the transmission fluid on a VW. I did not have this tool.

Luckily, a very kind gentleman at the visitor information desk had a small tool kit for his motorcycle and we managed to get the bolt reasonably tight by jamming in a pair of needle-nose pliers along with the largest hex I had. It made it for the next ten or so miles where I another kindly soul (a cyclist this time) who did have the correct tool and I was able to get it pretty durn tight. (Well, as tight as my underdeveloped upper body could manage.)

By the time we got back into Portland, I was fairly spent. By this I mean that my tongue was lolling out of my mouth, half my body was contorted with muscle cramps, and I really don't think I would have been able to find my house if Josh hadn't been there. One bowl of oatmeal, two heaping helpings of Josh's falafel pita magic, and 1.5 wassails later all was right in the world.

Stats

Miles ridden: 96

Miles ridden with one leg: 0.5

Time: 6 hrs - including lollygagging, sight seeing, and damage control

Good Samaritans: 2 (Thank you!)

McGiver Points: 75

Rain drops falling on my head: Zero!

Lessons Learned:

1) I really ought to let one of the cute burly dudes at the LBS assemble any components that require more than 3 ft-lbs of torque.

2) If you are going to leave the ipod at home and stick to having one song stuck in your head for six hours, I highly recommend NIN.

3) In these times of economic uncertainty, I'm putting all my money into falafel.